For struggling students, few things can be as daunting as report cards coming home. But report cards can even cause anxiety for well performing students depending on how they are received at home, and the expectations parents set about school performance. No matter how high you set the bar for your son or daughter, the dialogue we have with our children surrounding their report card should be constructive, regardless of the performance. Here are some grade appropriate tips by Doug Tynan, Chief Preventative Health Psychologist at Nemours Health & Prevention Services, and former director of programs for children with behavior and learning problems at the AI DuPont Hospital for Children and the Children’s National Medical Center.

Grades K-3:

• Help your child understand the details of their report card so they can understand in greater terms than just “good” or “bad” – for example, helping them understand that a report card lets them know how hard they have worked, and measures how much they have learned.
• Open up dialogue about their performance in specific subjects – find out which ones they like/dislike, which ones they find easy or difficult, and ones in which they may be learning a new skill.
• Remind them of how much progress has been made since the beginning of the year, offering specific examples such as, “Remember when you first started the school year and you needed mommy’s help to read a sentence? Now, you can read a whole page without anyone’s help.” And remember – praise them for their accomplishments!

Grades 4 and up:

• Don’t wait for them to bring up the topic of the report card because they usually won’t! Start a dialogue by asking them how they think they did that semester/year.
• Try to find at least a few positive things in the report card before talking about the negative.
• Take the teacher’s notes into consideration – they may give you better insight into your child’s classroom behavior, effort, participation and attendance than a simple grade. If there are no teacher notes, consider requesting a parent/teacher conference to discuss the details behind the grades.
• If grades are low or don’t meet your expectations, set a plan with your child to show improvement before the next grading period. Try to figure out what’s impacting the grade negatively (missing homework assignments, classroom behavior, low test scores, etc.) and then work together to set realistic goals for improvement. You may also consider hiring a tutor to help him/her improve grades. The average Club Z! student shows a 2 letter grade improvement in just 60 days! For more information, visit www.clubztutoring.com.

We’ve Talked…Now What?

After the discussion with your child, you may consider rewarding him/her for good performance or punishing him/her for poor performance. While rewards will most likely be appreciated, its best to keep them small so that the right expectations are set for each grading period. If you give them a new video game console for a solid report card this semester, what will they expect for a similar performance on the next report card? Instead, consider something that will involve the whole family, such as a dinner at a restaurant of their choosing, or taking them to a movie they’ve been dying to see.

And remember, punishing your child for a bad report card isn’t likely to increase his/her efforts on the next one. It may even lead to a cycle of negativity and anger that could further worsen their academic performance. Developing a realistic action plan for improvement is a better approach to realize results. Consider creating a dedicated homework or study hour for your child each night. Work with his/her teacher to verify assignments and course progress – many schools post grades and even progress online. Make playtime with friends contingent upon completing all homework assignments. Working together with your student will help him/her to develop the proper motivation to improve. A united effort between you, your child, and your child’s teachers will ensure success for all!